Reacting and Responding - Part 2 - A Lighter Look

Theresa was clueless as to the
fun that awaited her!

In May of this year, my emotions were running on overdrive.  My Mom's health was declining at lightning speed; the needs for her care were changing daily; and I was exhausted!  As we prepared for our Flagship ReMe Retreat on Ocracoke Island, it seemed as if new challenges presented themselves on a daily basis.  Some, a flat tire or misplaced keys, were minor.  Others... like Mom's speedier than expected discharge from rehab, my swan dive down the stairs as I was packing for ReMe, and her caretaker's stroke on her first full day of work... were more significant.

Through it all, there were also bright spots.  Through it all, I somehow managed to trust that everything was happening for a reason.  Through it all, I maintained faith that the right solutions would present themselves at the exact time that I needed them most.  Thankfully this was consistently the case.

Midweek during our retreat, as I was enjoying a delightful shower under the Carolina Blue Sky, I discovered a 'skin tag' on my upper thigh.  Puzzled by this tag that I'd never felt previously, I perched Karate Kid style on my one good leg to glimpse it in the waist high mirror.  My balance not being at its best a few short days after my fall, I still couldn't be sure,.  So, I rinsed as quickly as possible, re-donned my soft stretchy pajamas, and proceeded directly to the house where I sought help.

(It should be noted that I strongly suspected that the 'skin tag' in question was actually a tick.  Ticks are one of those creatures that totally and completely freak me out!  When suspicion first dawned, I wanted to scream like a child and run like the wind; but I couldn't.  It's hard to run from one's own thigh, and I was playing Hostess at the time.  If I'd screamed and run naked away from The Inn, my ReMe Sisters would have been puzzled, and potentially scarred for life.)

Lynne has mad artistic skills, and luckily for me also

oodles of experience as a nurse and nursing instructor!

Thankfully, our cool-headed Den Mother, Theresa, and ReMe Guest Extraordinaire, Lynne Simon Suprock, came to my rescue.  The tick was painlessly removed amidst our raucous laughter; the doctor was called; and any possible ill effects of the experience were thwarted.

The moral of this story...

Reacting by running naked and screaming would have been bad for all involved.

Responding by quietly asking for help, and laughing about the experience for days, provided a positive outcome for the experience and, a story that will last a lifetime.

********************************************************************************

Do you respond, react, or a bit of both?  

I'd love to hear all about it in the comment section of this post!  

Reacting and Responding - Part One

One look says it all.
Sculpture by Bill and Lori Gregory.

Once, during my early career in banking, I extended a one-finger-salute to another driver.  I was proceeding through a green light, and she pulled directly in front of me.  Clearly she had no business being behind the wheel!  Imagine my surprise when our eyes met, and I realized that we worked together.  My reaction that day caused me to reevaluate my behavior, and it was the last time that I used that finger in that manner. 

Hi.  My name is Jean.  I'm addicted to reacting.  

At least I was at one time.  I was young.  I was passionate.  I cared deeply.  At the drop of a hat, I was quick to proactively defend the principles and people closest to my heart.  Vocally, forcefully, and frequently, I did exactly that.  I tended to be righteous in the certainty of my position.  In the heat of a discussion, I'd barely take a breath to allow my perceived opponent to speak, and if they did manage to squeeze in a word or two, I'd mentally prepare my retort as they spoke.  In hindsight, this behavior didn't serve me or anyone else very well.

Through the years, I've softened. Time has taught me that our differing opinions are worth celebrating.  I enjoy listening to the thoughts of others in hope that I'll develop an understanding of why they do what they do and believe what they believe.  While we may never agree with each other, we can always be respectful of each other's feelings.  

Do I still react?  Absolutely and with great regularity!  Only now I try to use the power of my reactions for good.   I'm less enthusiastic about expressing my reactions to the world at large in the moment.  Instead I sit with them.  I reflect on the expressed and unexpressed feelings of everyone involved.  I strip away the rawest of my emotions from my reactions, and I consider the validity of all that remains.  

Then, and only then, I respond.  I find it to be a kinder gentler manner of expressing myself in most situations, and couldn't we all use a bit more kindness and gentleness in our lives?